Connection
You love the sense of “we-ness” you’re experiencing. You get lost in the excitement that these feelings will last forever.
It feels like everything your partner does lines right up with how you do things. It all feels special. It’s easy to be together. You’ve stumbled upon “the one.” You’re not naive though, right! You know relationships have their challenges.
It all feels so natural...
The laughing, joking, binge-watching, sharing funny memes, long walks, and conversations that last hours.
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“Who are we,” you ask yourself, finding it difficult to fall asleep next to someone you feel like you don’t know anymore. This isn’t the life you imagined. Thriving professionally as your marriage struggles. A failed business. Arguing over childcare costs. The laundry room is a nightmare. Junior is failing Geometry again. You’re discouraged. You can’t watch a movie together without them checking the latest social media post. “I guess I’m not as important as their phone,” you start wondering.
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But, reaching out to a couples therapist feels icky, because you remember what it was like when it wasn’t this hard.
Disconnection
You still love each other. You still care about each other. But…
Your confidence that your relationship will get better is fading, and fading fast. You make every effort to have a conversation but end up misunderstanding each other, and one of you leaving the room, confirming what you’ve been feeling for months - we’re doomed.
Reconnection
Feeling confident in your relationship...
You recognize conflict as inevitable in relationships, but you roll with the hurts because you know you can express it, and your partner will be supportive. You feel better about yourself. You express anger in a more controlled way. You don’t shy away when your partner is opening up about what hurt them. You hang in there, and offer whatever support they need - even when you’re the source of their pain.
The laughs come easier, the conversation is lighter, and connecting feels painless. You feel closer. You express needs. You complain without criticizing. And you listen without defending.
Couples Counseling Can Help
It’s easy to get lost in the busyness of life and slowly drift apart from the relationship that’s so important to you.
You’re not alone.
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You deserve to be in a healthy, strong relationship. A trusting, friendship-centered, and emotionally connected relationship is possible. If you want to reconnect with your partner, I’d love to help you get there.
I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I help people who want to feel connected with their spouse, but are buried under arguments, silence, and mistrust. I guide them through the (sometimes difficult but always rewarding) process of understanding the reasons for their disconnection, so that they can reconnect and rebuild trust in each other.
